satire & short humor

Reductress, full pieces

• I Didn’t Join This Restorative Reiki Beginners Workshop to Make Friends

• 6 Ways You’re Folding Your Socks Like a Little Shit

• I Gave Myself the Prettiest Braid Ever, So Now It Is Time to Die

• Trendy Bangles That Tell Coworkers ‘I Don’t Take My Responsibilities as Fire Marshal Seriously’

Reductress, selected headlines

• Confused Bag of Pistachios Just Happy It Got to Sleep in the Big Bed With Its Owner
  

• Inspiring! This Woman Saved $250K Just by Switching to Dollar Oysters

• Just 25 Chickpeas for You to Stare At

• I Was Hacked But All They Got Were 41 Pictures of This Butt Rash

• He Was a Porn Addict, She Was a Matrilineal Arctic Forager, And Now They’re Married

• Breathtaking Views That Look Even More Magnificent Through Megyn’s Thigh Gap

HAD

• Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit in My Recipe for Easy, Country-Style French Toast

Points In Case

• Notifications from Your Sleep-Deprived Mac

• 12 Books You Must Read Before You Can Die

• The Babadook No Longer Lives in This Book, Which Unfortunately Reduces Its Value at Auction

• I’m the BBC Earth Hummingbird, and I Did Not Consent to This Use of My Image

• I’m Rick Steves and I’m Now Touring the Inner Field of Consciousness, Not Europe

• Our Skincare Products Are Vegan, Sulfate-Free, and 100% Not a Front for My Uncle's Arms Trafficking Ring

Slackjaw

• Instead of a Traditional Wedding Registry, We’re Asking You to Take Turns Watering Our Plants, Semifinalist, 2019 Slackjaw Humor Writing Challenge

The Belladonna

• Phoebe Waller-Bridge Rewrites The Exorcist and Other Movies

The Onion

Timeless jokes about Merrick Garland, Covid curfews, and the container ship stuck in the Suez Canal available on request.

Weekly Humorist

• Sam Altman, Sam Bankman-Fried, or Sam the Snowman?

251

• Christmas Letter from The New York Sun to Virginia; or Prison Email from the NXIVM Cult Founder to Actress Nicki Clyne?